Faith and Medicine - Stories of Transformation

Doorknobs (From BAB 9/27/10)

Doorknobs are my "eighth sacrament"...an outward and visible sign that I am entering holy space. Before entering a patient room-any patient room-I hold the doorknob and I pray. Sometimes the prayer is that I will see what I need to see, sometimes it is that I may leave distractions outside the door and be fully present, sometimes it is simply an acknowledgement that I am exhausted and need not to be alone, sometimes a prayer for the family on the other side of the door, and most of the time it is all of those. Sometimes words, sometimes just the feel of the doorknob in my hand. My nurses know to close the doors of patient rooms; I need to hold the doorknob and move intentionally from one space to another. Those are doorknob prayers.

A Collect for St. Luke the Physician

Almighty God, who didst inspire thy servant Saint Luke the Physician, to set forth in the Gospel the love and healing power of thy Son; Manifest in thy Church the like power and love, to the healing of our bodies and our souls; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Robert (From NW 2/22/10)

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest." (Psalm 22:1-2, ESV)

Robert is a 16 yr old whom I've known for 3 years. He comes in with his grandfather, who has assumed responsibility for his upbringing since John's father is addicted to narcotics and is violent, particularly when he's high. Robert came to see me several times in December. He was clearly depressed, and I saw him weekly to encourage him while waiting on his antidepressant to reach therapeutic levels. I shared some Bible verses with him and challenged him to run to Jesus with his pain and anger. Just before Christmas, he came again, this time suicidal and menacing towards others in his home. The girl he'd been dating was moving to Texas, he told me. Marijuana and alcohol weren't helping, he told me. He needed to get away from it all. "I know you told me to pray, but I've tried and that's not working either." I talked and prayed with him for awhile before admitting him to psychiatry at MCG.

It's hard to understand. I have prayed for Robert, felt I put the words of truth into his hands, felt he was prepared for miraculous conversion and....silence.

Robert came back in today with his grandfather. He talked with me awhile, joked some. He told me he'd been praying more, and that it was helping. On the way out he looked at me and said, "I appreciate all you've done for me. I'll stop by and see you again before you leave."

Do I have confidence that God can work in hearts independent of me? Can I trust His timing?

From NW (2/22/10)

A Collect for the Victims of Addiction

Blessed Lord, you ministered to all who came to you: Look with compassion upon all who through addiction have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of your unfailing mercy; remove from them the fears that beset them; strengthen them in the work of their recovery; and to those who care for them, give patient understanding and persevering love. Amen.

Comment - Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?

In the Christian journey, there are times when it seems that God has gone somewhere else for a while. St. John of the Cross calls this, "The Dark Night of the Soul." Experiencing a Dark Night (it happens more than once) is a sure sign that one is walking the path with Jesus. Early on in the journey, God showers us with undeserved grace. At some point, He stands back for a while to test us. How will we react? Look what happened to Job! God even lets the devil test us. Just as God allowed the devil to come to Job, so God allowed the devil to come to Jesus at the end of His 40 days in the desert. Of course, the devil couldn't successfully tempt God. Left to our own, however, we will always fail the test. It's important to remember that God NEVER leaves us, even in a Dark Night. It just SEEMS that way. God is always present, waiting for us to call on Him, to ask for His help with the test.

I think that Psalm 22 is a pretty good description of a major Dark Night. Note how the psalmist responds with statements of resolute faith. Like Job, the psalmist is a person of resolute faith. The Gospel of St. Matthew reports that as Jesus died on the cross, He quoted the opening of this Psalm. We know that God does not forsake us, for in the resurrection, He is always with us.

But what about healing? In the patristic era, Athanasius (298-373 AD), Bishop of Alexandria, wrote a biography of St. Antony, noting, “It was as if he [Antony] were a physician given to Egypt by God.” He describes the saint’s healing activities in some detail. Athanasius writes that God frequently, but not always, answered Antony’s prayers for healing, but that Antony nonetheless always gave thanks. To me, it looks the healing process for Robert has begun. I think that God has used NW to start young Robert on a path of transformation. Right now, it doesn't look like this will be a sudden miraculous conversion, as happened to St. Paul on the road to Damascus, but I do see signs that God is at work here. We patiently, and persistently, offer continued prayers that Robert will let Christ come into his life and take charge. We also pray that God will heal him in body, mind and soul, and we give thanks to God for Robert and NW.